The Farmer's Llamas Read online

  Bitzer had a stern look on his face. This was not the time for games.

  The llamas and the sheep took no notice of him at all. The game was on!

  A second later, the ball landed at Bitzer’s feet, followed by a stampede of sheep and llamas. Blowing his whistle desperately, the dog was flattened.

  Meanwhile, Fernando headed the ball down the meadow with the Twins close on his hooves. Hazel was still lacing up her soccer cleats as the llama ran by. Fernando let the ball drop and dribbled it expertly. Grinning, he leaped over a sheep, who tried to tackle him and spun the ball on his hoof before whamming it toward the sheep’s goal.

  Hazel was still lacing her cleats.

  Shaun intercepted and hoofed the ball away. Fernando caught it on his head, rolled it down his back, and flipped it into the air with his tail. Hector nodded it into the sheep’s goal. One–nothing, llamas in the lead!

  For a moment, it looked like the sheep might catch up quickly. Cross-eyed with concentration, Nuts sprinted down the field with the ball rolling at his hooves. Hector grinned at him from the goal mouth. With an ooof, Nuts slammed the ball in a perfectly aimed shot.

  Hector ducked, revealing the other two llamas hidden behind him. As the ball flew, they took position — completely blocking the goal. Sheep looked on in shock as the ball bounced off the chuckling llamas and rolled away.

  Nuts wandered off, shaking his head in disappointment.

  With an annoyed woof, Bitzer clambered to his feet again. He reached for his whistle and gave it a long, hard blow — then looked down in shock when a low, haunting sound filled the air. The sheepdog realized that he was still wearing the pipes that the llamas’ previous owner had hung around his neck. He’d blown them by mistake. With a growl, he tossed them aside and blew on his whistle instead. The game was OVER.

  Obediently, sheep trailed off toward the sheep dip for a postgame bath, passing Hazel, who had finally finished lacing her cleats. She leaped up and punched the air, then looked around at an empty meadow.

  At the sound of a surprised bleat from Timmy, Shaun turned back and saw the little sheep holding up the pipes Bitzer had thrown away. He tried a few notes. The magical music drifted across the field.

  Behind Timmy, the llamas’ eyes instantly glazed over. The soccer ball fell from Hector’s neck and rolled away. The three of them stood as still as statues.

  Puzzled, Timmy lowered the panpipes and peered at them for a second before Shaun swept him up onto his shoulders and set off toward the sheep dip. Bleating with delight, Timmy dropped the pipes into the grass. Behind him, the llamas’ eyes focused. They shook their heads. Blinking, Hector stared at the set of pipes in the grass. A wicked look crossed his face. Stepping forward, he stamped.

  With a CRACK, the pipes shattered.

  Hector, Fernando, and Raul looked at each other and snickered.

  with water, Bitzer poured in a bottle of Barry Stiles’s Hint of Luxury sheep shampoo and sat in his lifeguard chair, swinging his whistle and watching over the sheep. When it looked like Shaun might jump in, Bitzer half raised the whistle to his mouth and glared. With a sigh, Shaun turned and used the steps to gently lower himself into the water, where the other sheep were splashing around and bleating about the soccer game.

  Bitzer blinked at the sound of galloping hooves. With a loud bray, all three llamas leaped over the wall behind him and cannonballed into the pool, sending up a huge wave and soaking Bitzer.

  Hector surfaced. Pursing his lips, he spat a fountain of water that hit Shaun full in the face. Shaun giggled as Raul’s head bobbed out of the water. He, too, spouted a jet of water, splashing the Twins. Within seconds, the two llamas were spitting water at everyone, and the rest of the sheep weren’t as happy as Shaun to join in the fun. Timmy’s Mum scowled when a stream from Hector hit her, ruining the rollers she had carefully arranged on her head. She pulled Timmy away to join the angry-looking Flock at the other end of the pool.

  The Flock was busy glaring at Hector and Raul and didn’t notice Fernando surface behind them. Suddenly, the water around the sheep bubbled furiously. They glanced at one another. Who installed a whirlpool-jet feature?

  Then the smell hit them.

  Fernando sighed with satisfaction: better out than in.

  The bubbles had come from the llama’s backside! Disgusted and gagging, sheep paddled away from the grinning llama and clambered out of the dip, grumbling and bleating and glaring at Shaun. The llamas weren’t cool: they were mean, rude, selfish, and smelly.

  At the sound of a window opening, Bitzer looked over at the farmhouse and saw the Farmer giving him a thumbs-up and a grin. Bitzer was doing a great job! The window slammed as the Farmer disappeared back inside the house, leaving the sheepdog to deal with the llamas.

  With a growl, Bitzer shot a resentful look up at the closed window and wrung water from his soaking hat.

  As night fell, the Flock pushed the llamas’ terrible manners out of their minds. The barn filled with the happy sounds of sheep getting ready for bed. Pillows were plumped, teeth were brushed, and the sheep took turns in the bathroom before bedtime.

  The door slammed open, letting in a cold breeze. Bleating, Shaun proudly led the llamas in and showed them the Flock’s home. Hector, Fernando, and Raul stared around with interest, nodding. The barn looked snug and comfy. Then they looked at one another.

  At the sound of loud crashes and bangs, the sheep stopped washing and looked around.

  Timmy’s Mum’s mouth fell open.

  The three llamas had piled up all the beds into one giant soft and comfy mound and settled down for the night. Happily sucking his thumb, Fernando rested his head on Hector’s shoulder and closed his eyes. Snuggled up next to the llamas, Shaun was already asleep.

  As llama farts drifted up into the rafters, the Flock had no choice but to squeeze into the bare hayloft. The grumpy sheep tried to find places to lie down comfortably, and instead found the sharp corners of old boxes. Shivering, they tried to sleep.

  And then the snoring started.

  Around the barn, eyes snapped open in alarm. Outside, several moles popped their heads out of the ground and stared at the vibrating barn in wonder with their paws over their ears.

  kept awake by snoring llamas. When dawn arrived, a tired rooster slumped into his usual place on the wall. With a small merp, he turned and limped back to the chicken run.

  Inside the farmhouse, Bitzer waved his clipboard under the Farmer’s nose. The sheep needed feeding, and so, too, did the llamas. It was a lot of extra work. With a grunt, the Farmer peered through the steam rising from his morning tea, nodded, and stood up wearily. He’d give Bitzer a hand.

  By the door, he stopped. “Oooh,” he mumbled, pointing. He’d forgotten to wash the dishes. He was far too busy. Bitzer would have to feed the llamas on his own.

  The sheepdog gave a small woof — but there was only one plate to wash up!

  The Farmer picked up the plate and scrubbed it busily. He glanced over at Bitzer. “Whharreyup?” he muttered.

  Grumbling to himself, Bitzer gave up and went to feed the animals. Outside, he peeked back through the window. Seeing that the sheepdog was looking, the Farmer kept on pretending to wash the same plate.

  Rolling his eyes, the sheepdog turned and padded over to the barn. What was the Farmer so afraid of? He put his whistle to his mouth and opened the door.

  Stampeding llamas promptly trampled him. Full of energy after a good night’s rest and bleating loudly, Hector, Raul, and Fernando — followed by Shaun — raced into the morning sunshine, leaving a flattened Bitzer lying in the dust.

  After a few moments, he picked himself up, dusted himself off, and peered into the barn. Inside, groaning sheep with bags under their eyes struggled out of makeshift beds, complaining loudly. They hadn’t had a wink of sleep. Yawning and rubbing their eyes, they staggered outside, toward breakfast.

  Bitzer warily began filling the food trough with sheep nuts. Just as the Flock stepped up to t
he trough, tummies growling, the sound of thundering hooves rumbled around the meadow.

  Bitzer looked up. He gulped. Tossing the empty food sack over his shoulder, he ran for it.

  Hector, Fernando, and Raul skidded to a halt at the trough, which Hector tipped on its end. Food poured out into a pile at the llamas’ feet. Instantly, they began munching their way through the entire contents of the trough. Shirley stared in horror as she watched breakfast disappear.

  Yeeeuuch! Coughing and spluttering, the llamas lifted their heads, making disgusted faces. Sheep food was horrible! They spat out the Flock’s breakfast and scraped their tongues clean with their hooves. How could the sheep eat such rubbish? Spitting out the last few crumbs, Hector dashed to the water trough with Raul and Fernando close behind. There, the llamas stopped, gazing down at the green, stagnant water in horror. A frog lay back, sunbathing.

  The llamas turned their eyes toward the farmhouse, where a supermarket delivery man was unloading crates of cola. They looked back at one another, grinning and wagging their tails with glee. While they were being fed hard, tasteless sheep nuts and stagnant water, the Farmer was getting a big delivery of proper food and drink.

  In the kitchen, the Farmer was humming happily. He had a big pile of groceries and Bitzer was dealing with the . . .

  LLAMAS!

  Three faces had appeared at the window, each wearing a hungry and very toothy grin. With a high-pitched “Waaaah” of shock, the Farmer backed out through the kitchen door and slammed it behind him.

  Shaun’s head popped up in the window too. Grinning, he looked at the goodies on the kitchen table and gave the llamas a wink.

  Bitzer looked around at the mess inside the barn. He growled to himself. Someone would have to tidy it up, and — of course — it wouldn’t be the Farmer. Shaking his head, he went off to fetch the vacuum cleaner.

  Meanwhile, Shaun crept up the entrance hallway in the farmhouse, listening for the Farmer’s footsteps. Outside, the llamas stared through the kitchen window, watching while Shaun tip-hoofed in. He gave the llamas a thumbs-up and grabbed a bottle of cola from the crate on the kitchen table, then sneaked back out the door, thrilled by his own daring.

  The llamas looked at one another. Hector rolled his eyes. Shaun was an amateur. Hector opened the window, leaned into the kitchen, and grabbed the whole crate of cola!

  By the time Shaun turned the corner, holding up his swiped bottle, the llamas were each carrying bags stuffed with groceries.

  Soon the four were leaning against various items of junk in the tractor shed, surrounded by half-eaten food and empty bottles. Across the meadow, the rest of the Flock looked away. Noses in the air, the tutting sheep put as much distance as they could between themselves and the thieves. Only Timmy looked interested. It was a hot day, and the cold cola called to him. Leaving the Flock behind, the little sheep trotted toward Shaun and the llamas.

  Having downed half a bottle of fizzy cola in a single gulp, Fernando burped and snickered. Hearing a tiny bleat, he looked down and saw Timmy staring at his drink longingly. Fernando handed him a bottle and tapped his own against it: cheers!

  Overjoyed, Timmy settled himself between Shaun and Hector. He took a gulp of stolen cola and let out a tiny burp. Shaun ruffled his fleece, bleating. Life was better with a little bit of mischief. Shaun and Timmy giggled, blowing over the tops of their cola bottles to make a low and haunting noise.

  Hector finished his own bottle, then threw it away, wiped his mouth, and leaned back against a blue tarp.

  BEEP.

  Raul started at the sound and lifted a corner of the tarp. A wicked grin appeared on his face. Quickly, he threw the rest of the tarp aside. Underneath was the Farmer’s ATV. Raul and Hector grinned at each other and climbed on.

  BEEP, BEEPITY, BEEP-BEEP.

  Shaun and Timmy looked up from their bottles and stared. The two llamas were riding the ATV like a seesaw! Bleating with horror, Shaun jumped up and ran to stop them. This was taking mischief too far.

  Behind him, Fernando finished his cola. Then he spotted Timmy’s half-full bottle, snatched it, and began to guzzle, watching what Hector and Raul were up to.

  Tears welled in Timmy’s eyes.

  At that moment, the summer day was shattered by the roar of the ATV’s engine. Shaun waved his hooves, bleating desperately. Raul and Hector had to get off. There would be big trouble if the Farmer saw them. . . .

  Shaun was interrupted by a wail behind him. Across the meadow, Timmy’s Mum and the other sheep looked up. Timmy was crying! What had Shaun done now? As one, the Flock started running.

  Shaun turned and bleated softly to Timmy, trying to comfort the sobbing lamb. But before he could even pat Timmy on the head, the ATV hurtled past, carrying all three llamas. Shrieking with laughter, Raul leaned over, grabbed Shaun by the fleece, and plonked him onto the handlebars.

  BLEEEAAAAAAAAAAATTTT!

  The running sheep stopped. They gawked as Shaun shot past on the front of an out-of-control ATV. It weaved across the meadow, crashed through the gate into the pigsty, and reappeared — chasing panicked pigs across the meadow — before veering off straight toward where Timmy stood, wailing above the noise of the engine. With a terrified bleat, Timmy’s Mum dashed to save him. She snatched her son into her arms just as the vehicle roared past and bounced away.

  Raul pulled on the handlebars. The ATV’s front wheels lifted into a wheelie, and Shaun gave a sudden yelp. Up ahead, someone had left some old planks against the low stone wall. They looked, to his growing horror, very much like a ramp. A very flimsy ramp. He opened his mouth to bleat a warning. The ATV couldn’t possibly make that jump. . . .

  At the same time, Bitzer took a last look at his handiwork. The barn was spick-and-span. All the beds were made and the cushions plumped. He had dusted the furniture and hung the towels up neatly. Pleased with himself, the sheepdog shut the barn doors.

  The ATV hit the ramp. Shaun and the llamas flew through the air, holding on with all their might. For a second, Shaun’s bleat could be heard above the scream of the engine. Then it was drowned out in a long series of crashes, thumps, more crashes, and the squeal of metal.

  The ATV had smashed through the barn doors, plowed through the sheep’s beds, busted out again through the far wall, and disappeared through the hedge.

  Bitzer gawked. Behind him, the Flock gawked, too. One of the ATV’s wheels rolled through the barn and toppled over at Bitzer’s feet.

  Clutching his head, Shaun sat up in the grass just beyond the broken hedge. He looked at the ruined barn in horror and bleated at the llamas. What had they done?

  The llamas laughed hysterically. That was brilliant! Chuckling, they trotted off to look for more mischief.

  Shaun followed, bleating angrily in protest.

  The llamas turned back and shrugged — whatever. If Shaun was going to be a spoilsport, then he could get lost.

  Silently, the Flock and Bitzer stared into the barn. The doors hung in bits. The bedding was torn, and the pillows were ripped to pieces. A breeze blew through a great hole in the far wall. Above, a beam creaked and dropped to the ground. The roof slumped, tiles shattering among the Flock’s broken belongings.

  Their home was in ruins.

  Hurriedly, Bitzer herded the Flock away. The damage to the barn made it too dangerous to enter.

  At that moment, the llamas rounded the corner, still chuckling. They walked by the Flock, ignoring the narrowed eyes of the sheep. Timmy’s Mum bent down and picked up the pointy-finger sign that Shaun had used in the auction.

  Shaun was sitting on his own by the battered barn, looking miserable. Timmy’s Mum marched over to him and poked him with the giant finger. It was all his fault. It was his fault the llamas were here. It was his fault that Timmy had nearly been run over. It was his fault that their home had been wrecked.

  Shaun bleated. He hadn’t known the llamas were going to —

  Timmy’s Mum interrupted him by breaking the wooden sign over
his head. Dazed, he watched the Flock storm away.

  The Farmer hummed “Rock Around the Crop,” a catchy pop song he had heard on the radio that morning. Clutching a bag of recycling, he pushed open the front door and walked across the yard to the recycling bin. Everything was grand. Bitzer had taken care of the llamas, the groceries were put away (though he was sure he had ordered more than that), and the barn was a total wreck —

  The Farmer stopped. The recycling fell to the ground. Behind thick glasses, he blinked as if doing so might change the sight before his eyes.

  It didn’t. Gasping, he ran to the ruined barn, where Bitzer was sticking yellow-and-black caution tape over the doorway. The barn was a disaster site. No one could enter.

  The Farmer babbled in horror. His lovely barn! What on earth had happened?

  Gently, Bitzer took him by the arm and led him away.

  against the gatepost and watched the Flock. Timmy’s Mum was right: it was all his fault.

  Sighing and dragging his feet, he walked up to the barn and ducked under Bitzer’s tape. Inside, he bent down and picked up Timmy’s teddy bear. Timmy would want it.

  Slowly, he carried it back to the Flock. Seeing Shaun approach, the other sheep put their front hooves on their hips and glared. . .

  Just then, thunder rumbled and the first drops of rain began to fall. Thanks to Shaun, the Flock would have to sleep outside in a storm. Umbrellas snapped open. Turning their backs, the Flock made a wall between themselves and Shaun. The message was clear. They wanted nothing to do with him.

  Shaun laid the teddy bear gently on the ground behind Timmy and shuffled away.

  The Flock ignored him — all except Timmy. Finding his beloved teddy bear at his feet, the young sheep gave it a delighted cuddle and looked around. He watched Shaun shuffle over to the compost heap, where he sat unhappily in the rain.

  Still groaning and jabbering about the ruined barn, the Farmer stomped back to the farmhouse with Bitzer at his side. When he found out who had wrecked it he would . . .